If there is one thing I have learned since entering retirement, it is that demands for my time and attention have not changed. If anything, armed with the knowledge that I have time on my hands, the demands have seemed to escalate. If I am being honest, some of these demands are coming from within but others are coming from well-meaning but misguided acquaintances. Take note that I did not say “friends” but rather acquaintances. More about that in a moment.
So here is the thing. Saying yes to every request is exhausting. Whether it is an invitation to a social event or a request to serve on a committee, the never-ending list of demands on your time can turn you into a rat on a treadmill. Without adequate time to stop and catch your breath, your sleep suffers as does your health, and even though you otherwise have a healthy lifestyle, your immune system becomes compromised. Heck, even rats need to rest!
In this article, I am going to reaffirm nine things we all need to embrace in order to maintain our sanity in this crazy mixed up world. Some will call this self-care, while others will call it mindfulness. The ignorant will call it selfish. But trust me on this: putting a priority on self-care is not being selfish. Instead, it is an important component of living a strategic life.
9 Tips for Keeping Your Sanity By Embracing Self-Care
Stop over-planning and embrace serendipity
Serendipity happens when you discover new experiences by chance. They kind of sorta happen.
Look at it this way. Life is a big adventure without a rule book. By always following a plan (aka an unwritten rule book), you miss out on the opportunity to experience new and uber-interesting things in life. Instead, why not jump out of your comfort zone and let life take you somewhere you did not expect or imagine? Don’t miss out on the journey of adventure.
Ground yourself and calm your senses with peace and quiet
Escape the ugliness in the world (and yes, there is some) by grounding yourself in nature. A lake, the mountains, a park, the forest, or simply your back yard can be a haven for peace and tranquility. Listen to the crickets or the birds. View the sunrise and sunset and marvel at the colorful skies. Finding peace and quiet is meditative and calming.
By admiring the beauty in nature, you will experience a reprise from the issues of the day.
Find a handful of true friends and love them forever
True friends are those handfuls of people that have seen you at your best as well as your worst and everything in between. They do not judge and have no agenda other than friendship. If you are really lucky, your spouse or partner will be one of those friends.
Your true friends will support your dreams and pick you up and help you start all over when you fail. Cherish these friends and consider them gold for they are priceless.
Focus on your strengths
Strengths come in many forms. Mental and physical acuity, creative skills of all manner and type, and the ability to show empathy are just a few of the strengths that some of us possess. There are thousands of others.
What are your strengths? Define them and hold them close so you do not forget about them. Everyone has days when they feel down. It is during those times that you need to dig out your list of strengths and focus on them. They are a reminder that you are worth it.
Get some exercise on a regular basis
Let’s face it. As we age, exercise becomes more difficult. It is not the act itself per se, but rather the recovery period after the fact. For that reason, it is important to get some exercise on a regular basis and daily if possible. Walking, hiking, dancing, biking, light weight training, and even the ubiquitous treadmill all provide enough exercise to rev up the endorphins and let you approach life with vigor.
Be positive, be nice, and be kind
Having a positive mindset will allow you to look at life more objectively. Disruptive events large and small are surely going to happen, but pulling out of them will be far easier when you roll up your sleeves and tackle them with a positive outlook for the future.
The same things apply to being nice. Shitty people are going to cross your path. They certainly cross mine. You can either let them take you down or you can kill them with kindness then move on. Be nice then forget them.
Along those same lines, be kind. It is okay to snark in private but when dealing face to face with your fellow humans, be gentle and kind.
Unplug without guilt
Step away from your computer, tablet, or smartphone and unplug for a few hours, a day, or a week if you can (I can’t for much longer than 8 hours). These days our lives are controlled by our gizmos and the demands that they too make on our time. Unless you are at work, most emails can wait before you respond, if you respond at all. The same applies to texts, Facebook, and YouTube reminders and notifications. And let us not forget about Google. The Internet has turned us into junkies that seek our latest high by looking at a digital screen. It is so much out of control that we burn ourselves up jumping from texting to email, and from browser hopping from site to site in search of meaningless nothingness.
Instead of sabotaging your enjoyment of life by staring at a screen for six or more hours a day, simply unplug for awhile. Try it in small doses and gradually increase the time you are unplugged. You just might find that you love the newfound boost in productivity and the time to enjoy other aspects of your life.
Be prepared for life’s emergencies
No list on self-care would be complete without a reminder to be prepared for life’s emergencies. In it’s simplest form, store food, water, light sources (flashlights), power (batteries and a generator), medical and first aid supplies, cash, and those all-important amusements that will get you through a storm or extended power outage. Just like modern grocery stores, most homes maintain essentials on a just in time, or just what we need basis. Not good.
True self-care means having just a little extra to get you by when you are on your own. It is not a matter of if it will happen, but when.
Put Yourself First
Do I really need to remind you to put yourself first? Yes, I do, because we have been hoodwinked into thinking doing so is being selfish. To the best of my knowledge, we have only one shot at living life on this planet. If we don’t prioritize ourselves now, when will we?
My message is this: embrace life with gusto and gumption and don’t be afraid to put yourself and your own needs first at least some of the time.
Yes, taking care of the needs of others is what we are taught to do and might as well be in our DNA. That is all well and good but keep in mind that you will be useless to help others if you are so worn out and overburdened that you become broken.
Additional Reading: 8 Steps Toward Living a Joyful and Strategic Life
Summing It All Up
At this stage of my life, comfort, happiness, and wellness are high on my list of priorities. It is what I practice and what I do, every single day.
Furthermore, I am so done with negativity that if exposed to someone with a half glass empty mentality, I politely and kindly remove myself from their circle. Instead, I pull away and find others who share my values and spend time with them, if they will have me. This is such an important part of living a strategic life that it bears repeating over and over again. Couple with loving myself and practicing self-care, I am doing my best to live a strategic life. This is not being selfish, it is being well.
Can you say the same?
Yours for a Joyful Life,
Gaye
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Gaye you are so right in every word in that article. Blessedly I figured that out when I retired 10 years ago and since my life is filled with the necessary doctor appointments being the medical advocate for 98 year young Mother and my hubby also, I’ve figured out the value in saying “No” and having “Me time” to regenerate my go power and sanity! Love your articles and live by your oil recipes. Thanks ! AND aren’t we loving the AZ sunshine back after such a gray wet winter?! LOL 😂
The forecast is 75 today, finally!
My issue with retirement (although it has not been that long), is my get up and go has got up and went. Most days I just want to hang around the house and do a bit of nesting. I definitely have mastered the word NO but had to practice in front of the mirror a lot. It is hard work to hang on to your personal time, mostly because it is so easy to give it away without realizing what you are doing. Good for you for learning to carve out some ME-time.
Glad the essential oils are working for you. I have many more tried and true recipes to share, but not today. I am off to do some adult coloring while listening to an audiobook.
Boy, did I need to read this today after the day I had at work! I keep telling myself that things will get better once we get through winter, LOL! And I honestly know they will, once I can get back out and start gardening and camping (we live in OH). Thanks Gaye!
I have lived with the “the things will get better when….” syndrome for so long that I have come to realize that the perfect time will never arrive. On the other hand, getting outdoors camping sounds like a darn good idea right now. Here is Arizona we have had frost, of all things. The furnace is running…
Stay warm and stay joyful!
Gaye, thank-you for putting this into a list-I am going to print it out so I can look at it often. My job ended unexpectedly and put me into a tail-spin for a while. So now I am considering making this my permanent retirement from 35 years of hospital nursing. I am finding I am going through a lot of changes, and filtering out negativity and others demands for my time; it’s hard work! So this is so appropriate for me right now. You are my retirement Role Model. Really there should be classes on how to retire-it’s hard work. Thank-you.
PS Have you read Marie Kondos books on “The Art of Japanese Tidying up”‘? “Sparking Joy” has become the new great phrase!
Role model?? Not sure about that but at least we can learn together.
I read Marie Kondos book and since then look at all of the physical objects that clutter my life and ask myself whether or not they bring me joy. Things like old photos and yearbooks were the first to go along with various souvenirs from my travels and clothes that while expensive, make me look too young (ouch) or too frumpy (double ouch). Slowly but surely, I am doing the same with my collection of digital items: files, photos, videos and even FB friends who are really just passing acquaintances.
I totally agree that retirement is hard work but only because we put forth our own obstacles to embracing our well-deserved time off. At least I no longer feel guilty about sleeping in until 7:30!! Hope you can say the same!!!
I agreed to a 7:10 dental appointment tomorrow-talk to me around 10:00, And yes I am also doing the “spark joy” test to a lot of things and that includes people. I also love that I don’t have to be cautious what I say because it might get back to the hospital. haha! But I am finding that I am feeling a lot like the person I was 35 years ago before chronic stress, and pain were a daily part of my life. And I am mastering the art of taking naps!
Hi Gaye,
Miss you and Shelley at the dances! Maybe this coming weekend?
Where do you post to most frequently? Your blog or FB?
I enjoy reading your thoughts!!!
John Ashton
Life happens with lots of special events going on this time of year.
I only post from time to time here on the blog (I am now retired, after all) and rarely on my personal FB page. I do post more often on the Strategic FB page here: https://www.facebook.com/strategiclivingblog/. The best thing to do is to sign up to receive an email so you are notified when I post something new. Here is a link: https://strategiclivingblog.com/sign-up-mailmunch/.
Watch for an email from me later today!!
Hi Gaye- thought I would add a update to this. I saw it again this morning and thought “Whoa” that looks good and reread it . Then I read a post and thought geeze that sounds a lot like my life- it was my post. Good laugh. I wrote that february27, on March 18 our world turned upside down when my daughters fiancé had a hemorrhagic stroke at age 42. After almost two weeks in neuro icu he died. I have been with and helping my daughter whose life plans crashed to dust rebuild her life. Lots of tears all around and it still is a gut punch. And I am pretty tired. Restarting to try and rebuild our lives back into something positive so this is timely that I saw it again. My therapist said yesterday “ there are no accidents- the universe “- I have said over and over – what would I have done if I was still working?
I will be officially retired in June. But will keep my license current.
I think I would only add – plan for unexpected events that happen in life- physically, financially , emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes you get hit with a tsunami. Best wishes.