I recently watched a YouTube video about things you don’t have to worry about after age 50. The premise was that as you get older, things keep getting better and better. Since watching that video I have thought long and hard about what was said and have come to the conclusion that it was mostly fluff. To universally imply that things get better and better is simply not true. I say this because as we experience life, there will be good days and bad days. Over time, some things get better but some things get worse. That is the reality of our human condition and to try to convince you otherwise will only make you feel bad.
Even though I wanted to call BS on the video, the takeaway was that periodically we all need to identify those things that should be set aside because they drag us down and prevent us from having that better life we strive for. So that is what I did.
Top Five Things I No Longer Worry About
1. Trying to impress people that do not want to be impressed
There comes a point when you realize that trying to impress people is a endless rat hole of frustration. It is far better to accept that some people make a career of trying to one-up others. No matter what you do or say, they need to be the center of attention and if they mow you down in the process, so be it. Instead, I prefer to spend time with people who accept my personality quirks and enjoy my company unconditionally.
As I do theirs.
2. Being envious of others for what they have accomplished
Our position in life is often dictated by choices we made in our 20s, 30s, and 40s. This is especially true with education and career choices.
I can not speak for other generations but as a Baby Boomer, I find there are clear distinctions in the lifestyles and mindsets of retirees who worked for mega-corporations and the public sector, and those that were either self-employed or working for a small business. Each side tends to envy the other. Why is that?
If there is one thing I have mastered these past few years, it is to let go of envy and instead, be joyful for the success and accomplishments of others. At the same time, I remind myself what I have done and relish in knowing that I have done the best I can. There is no shame in that.
3. Tossing out old yearbooks, photos, and mementos from days gone by is not a crime
Prior to moving last year, I had to evaluate the wisdom of once again carting boxes of old photos, yearbooks, and mementos from one location to another. Many of the sealed boxes had been moved multiple times and never once did I have the inclination or desire to review them. Out they went and I have not looked back. In a way, it was liberating.
How much physical baggage are you carrying around with you?
4. Comparing the way I look to someone 25 years younger
There are four words I can think of when it comes to looking young again: It ain’t gonna happen. Three more words: Get over it!
There are days when I want to cover up the mirrors and not look at myself. Photos are the worse. The days of having a 23 inch waist are gone and even with diet, will not come back. Likewise with the sagging eyelids and the emerging hint of a jowl. Is there anyone else feeling my pain?
Dealing with an aging body in a society that values youth has got to be one of the more difficult mental challenges of getting old. I find some solace in staying healthy, getting a modest amount of excercise, and practicing immpecable grooming. Mostly though, I stop trying to make comparisons.
5. Confrontation is a waste of time, energy and emotion
When someone or something wants to get in my face, my knee jerk reaction is to fight back. I do my best to resist that temptation.
Instead, I smile politely and walk away. Who the heck wants to get into an argument that will give you a headache and keep you up at night? Unless my rights have been severely compromised, the stress is not worth it.
Summing it All Up
These days, I am happy to enjoy the beauty of nature and participate in individual pursuits that I have never before had time for. Knowing I am now in the sunset period of my life, I spend every day doing joyful things that bring me peace and allow for a modicum of serenity in this crazy mixed-up world. Although I recognize that not every day will be better than the one before, letting go of some of the worry helps me face the world each morning with gusto.
Why not take a few moments to define those things that are preventing you from being joyful? Regardless of your age, once you do, you will have a roadmap for letting go and getting on with the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy.
Why not start today?
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Beautiful. #3 & 8 are ones that give me trouble. I think I will print this out. Thank you.
It must be early, Virginia. Number 8?????
As far as tossing out old yearbooks, photos, and mementos, I recruited some help. I cheated and asked my husband, Shelly, to go through the boxes and save a few of the best (and most memorable) items. He then tossed everything else. This saved me from the painful process of making a decision as to what stays and what goes. That was one year ago and I still have not gone through the saved items although I do know they are encased in only two small moving boxes. Before the purge, there were well over a dozen that had been packed up from our 2003 move.
I did go through our wedding stuff myself and kept my wedding dress but tossed the bouquet that I had so painfully preserved in 1975.
I meant #5. 😳
Nice post Gaye. I am finding my priorities are slowly changing. We all have them, but it is pointless to dwell on regrets; moving forward is key. Thanks for the reminder .
I owe you an email and hope to be in touch soon.
Hi Gaye! I couldn’t agree more and am making a promise to myself to get rid of these boxes of “stuff”! Since we are in the middle of our final move for life, now will be the perfect time. A strategic life is my goal! Hubby is having a harder time with this concept. 😂
As with anything worthwhile, it does take some work to stay focused on what is important. That is probably why I continue to write about what I feel are the same old topics. They serve as a constant reminder that the little (and not so little) annoyances in life should not prevent me from having fun and being joyful. I am sure he will come around eventually. Perhaps I should quiz Shelly a bit and get a man’s perspective on living strategically. Oh, and also my BFF George Ure over at http://www.urbansurvival.com.
Regarding #3, I’m so glad I’ve keep my old journals and photos. When I turned 75 last month, I took a good look and realized that my obsessive scribbling had a great use! I’m now almost finished with my first two of about 12 to 15 short books that are a memoir series called Moved by Curiosity. The first one is about going around the world when I was 19 and the second one is about spending the following summer as a Crossroads Africa volunteer in Sierra Leone, West Africa.
I’m an experienced self-publisher and these will be done that way, as Kindles and Createspace paperbacks. Other people might just want to to do something for themselves and their families, and in that situation, I like Shutterfly.
It sounds like life has treated you to some marvelous adventures. I applaud you for having the foresight to journalize your experiences and then later, to write about them. Alas, my own life has been a bit more mundane.
I’m 71 and been down a lot of roads. The best thing I can say about nearly 3/4 of a century on the planet? I care less & less about what other folks think of me & how I live. I keep warning my kids – “Just wait til I get REALLY old; that’s when I’ll get REALLY weird!”
That made me laugh, Linda. I am a few years younger than you and already REALLY weird! Do you recall me referring to myself as “that crazy old prepper lady:??
#1: Letting relationships go that have insisted on playing this game has definitely been the hardest thing for me to do. One has to go through a grieving process if they’re close family members.
#2: This is one thing I haven’t had a problem with. Others (see#1) many times justified their behavior with this excuse when I didn’t want to play their game by smiling and walking away.
#3: If one has children or grandchildren one would like to pass photos and momentos on to, this is the time. I made a box for each of my children while going through (and still am) all my things while paring down. Once I’m finished, and I WILL finish, they will get their boxes, not after I’m gone.
#4: Not only “someone 25 years younger”, but our peers as well. I found myself a while back comparing myself with women around my same age. Each of us has our own life, our own road map on our bodies and faces, so be your best self right now, and celebrate the fact you have reached this age. So many haven’t.
#5: Life, Limb, or Liberty. I keep this in mind when confronted. Life and limb are self explanatory. Liberty goes back to what I wrote in response to your #1, “trying to one-up others. No matter what you do or say, they need to be the center of attention and if they mow you down in the process”. Enslaving behavior, pure and simple. Expect it to get temporarily worse after you cut the ties that bind, but it WILL get better each day.
I want to thank you tremendously, Gaye, for writing. Your reply to Vicki “That is probably why I continue to write about what I feel are the same old topics. They serve as a constant reminder that the little (and not so little) annoyances in life should not prevent me from having fun and being joyful.”, is why I continue to read.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Tricia. It thrills me that there are so many that are like-minded that have chosen to join the Strategic Living tribe.
I have to say something! I don’t know that I’m right, just a hunch. I think your article is spot on because I and my spouse are each aging (gracefully, I hope) and we’re experiencing mcuh of what you say. I did want to espouse my theory about this whole process. My wife and I have both considered that the reason we hold on to things is because we are lonely for the bright, happy, fun days of our younger years. Each little thing the kids made in school, photos, yearbooks, are direct, physical connections to other times. As folks get older their offspring tend to go their own way with their own family and the downers start occurring. Many of our relatives and friends our age are gone. Why else is there such a boom on Facebook (as an example) of the gray-haired brigades? It seems that kids are deserting FB and their parents and grandparents are latching on. Misery loves company.
Hopefully not too much misery, Harry.
As someone who did not have children, I can attest that longing for the bright, happy. fun days of our youth is a phenomenon that affects all (many?) of us regardless of our family situation.
Part of that, for me at least, is related to the quest for learning. I constantly remind myself that just because I am no longer in career building mode (or career mode, period), does not mean I should discontinue the quest for knowledge about those matters that used to be my bread and butter.
I do agree that the gray-haired brigade has attached itself to Facebook. Hang in there, my friend.
I love your post, Gaye, it’s spot on for me. I let go of my yearbooks years ago. Maybe it was the last move. I think we all go through changes in our lives and some are hard to let go of stuff like you said. I stay away from people who do not bring me joy. At our age, we do not need confrontations, but I love that you wrote down your thoughts and shared them with us. We all need to cherish the time we have left on this earth doing what we love. You are rocking it, Gaye! Good job, Linda
Let us hope that we still have a long time left to figure things out, Linda. Thanks for stopping by.